I’m sure that everyone here is a caffeine addict of one sort or another. If you’ve any concerns about over consuming your favorite caffeinated beverage, you can find out how much would be fatal to you here.
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This is just horrible. Horrible but hilarious. Terrorist bloopers is a parody of hidden camera, pranks and “deleted scenes” from the lives of terrorists. Be afraid, for the guys who made this are gonna get smacked down with jihad!
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From the future comes this obituary of Homo Sapiens.
“Since I’ve been asked to offer an epitaph,” the highly distributed poetware continued, “I believe that we should rearrange the Great Wall of China to spell out (in Chinese of course, since most of them were always Chinese) — ‘THEY WERE VERY, VERY CURIOUS, BUT NOT AT ALL FAR-SIGHTED.’
The date is apparently 2380. They had crappy music that year.
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Here’s one for the “over 30″ crowd to laugh about conspiratorially, and for the “under 30″ crowd to shrug thier shoulders and think, Who cares? It was obviously written by someone who’s a bit jaded and possibly has teenagers of their own.
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When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .. uphill BOTH ways ….through year ’round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs … to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full-time, after-school job at the local textile mill … where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! Read the rest of this entry »
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I’d never read a negative review of Burning Man, that hippie maelstrom in the middle of the Nevada desert. I’ve never been a fan (and I live in San Francisco, where a good portion of the burners come from). I hate hippies, and for good reason; their naive idealism causes more problems than it solves. They are a cult of tolerance and peace in the most facist of manners; like George W. Bush, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us.” This from the the review:
The burning of the man is 90 minutes of fire dancers and neo-pagan ritual, all centered on a god-like central figure, with his arms raised in triumph towards a frenzied, expectant crowd, clearly united in some dark purpose. This finale of Burning Man is a kind of hippie Nuremberg Rally.
As the Burning Man burns, both his arms eventually fall to his side. Curiously, his left arm dropped first, leaving his right arm raised in a straight-armed Nazi salute. At that moment, a spontaneous cheer went up a thousand right arms were raised as one over the smoky playa. Heil hippie! No shit, I have it on film.
Burning Man has morphed from a cathartic event to a money making, hippie exploiting, sex crazed, heatstroke inducing waste of air. It will be nice to see it fade into obscurity.
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It’s never too late to catch up with some of Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts. Lovely stuff, really.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, “Dust to dust,” some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, “I’ll be waiting for you in heaven–with a gun.”
I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
It’s true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don’t tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
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