Interested in poop? Or caca? Or little nuggets? Or dung? Or feces? Or guano? Or cling-ons? Or scat? Then this just might be the exhibit for you. Insert poop joke here.
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Speaking of Astronomy, you only have four days to get your name taken with the Dawn Mission to the asteroid belt. NASA does this kind of thing from time to time, so there may be future missions available to get a part of you off this rock.
Now to figure out how to submit my body through a web form….
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Wow! They found giant worms on Mars… or have they? I’m inclined to think not, especially on the scale of these objects. Unless we’re talking about Dune, Arrakis, Desert Planet, home of the Spice.
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Apparently Universal Studios is sending out takedown notices and retroactive licensing bills to several Firefly fan sites, despite the fact that these sites helped promote the show and the movie, Serenity much better than Universal could have themselves. Slashdot has a load of link covering the issue. I wonder what the hell they are thinking? “Hey, these guys are promoting our stuff and getting people excited about our properties; let’s punish them!” I hope this isn’t the beginning of some horrible trend… NBC Universal (owners of Universal Studios) also produces Battlestar Galactica and being irritating about the webisodes made just prior to Season Three starting.
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Since we’ve been on a zombie kick recently, here’s a music video by Jonathan Coulton, the guy who brought us the acoustic version of Baby Got Back. This one is about a zombie who just wants to get along with his human friends and doesn’t quite understand why they don’t…
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This might explain why I can never pick up chicks. They think I’m a woman!
Beer contains female hormones!
Last month; National University of Lesotho scientists released the
results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn’t drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
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After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”
General Ary Serey had this to say, “We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all.”
Great, so now they’re going to use it for… making more zombies?
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Look! A sub-genre of a sub-genre! Creatures From the Pink Lagoon is a deliberately B-movie zombie flick featuring a gay theme.
Will Stan keep the rotting corpses out of his spotless home? Will Joseph work up the courage to declare his love for Phillip? Can Billy keep it in his pants long enough to stay alive? And is Phillip’s cheating boyfriend coming to the party to save them, or to eat them? No one is safe in this campy mix of classic B horror flicks and pre-Stonewall gay melodramas.
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It’s like reading a summation of all the stupid, strange and dumb things people do…
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead, and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill, and stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
In our Likely Story department this week, the crew of a trawler that sank in the Sea of Japan claimed their ship went down after “being struck by a cow which fell out of the clear blue sky”. According to Flying magazine, no one believed this absurd explanation– except the Russian military. It seems that the crew of a military cargo jet had stolen a cow they found wandering on a Siberian airfield, and loaded it aboard. While cruising at 30,000 feet, the terrified cow ran amok and jumped out of the plane.
I had an ex-girlfriend who was stupid. One day her stupid things were getting on my nerves and I asked her what her I.Q. was. She responded “20/20″!
I was 18 and in the Air Force, and had just bought my first car. It was at Fairchild AFB, near Spokane, Washington, and the car was a 1955 Oldsmobile. I had paid $50.00 for it. My buddy and I decided to take it for a drive over to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. Nearing the city, we heard a “chop…chop…chop” sound. We parked at a restaurant and shut the car off. Went inside to eat, and then returned to the car. The car would not start. I raised the hood, and my buddy and I, (both of us REALY STUPID!) just stood there looking at the engine, not knowing a thing about cars. A man came up to see if we needed help. He told us that my battery was gone. Apparently, it was not tied or bolted down and it fell into my fan blades. Well, this man put his battery in my car to get it started and then took it out. He told us that when we get back to Spokane, to go buy a battery. Well, we drove all the way back to Spokane, and stopped in a gas station and bought a battery, ($19.95 in 1971). Well, we put that battery in, and as we went around the cloverleaf onramp to get back on the freeway, we heard, “chop..chop..chop.”
I’m glad all the stories are on one page, but it’s like reading a novel!
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