Changing Times
My sister, a teacher, sent me this. Interesting how accurate it actually is (my favorite is #3).
Scenario #1: Jack pulls into school parking lot his .22 in the gun rack in his pickup.
1956 – Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack’s rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 – School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario #2: Sonny and Jerry get into a fist fight after school down by the feed mill.
1956 – Crowd gathers. Jerry wins. Sonny and Jerry shake hands and end up good friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrest Sonny and Jerry and 10 members of the crowd. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Jerry started it.
Scenario #3: Vernon won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1956 – Vernon sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.
2006 – Vernon given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Vernon now has a disability.
Scenario #4: Kenneth breaks a window in his father’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
1956 – Kenneth is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 – Kenneth’s Dad is arrested for child abuse. Kenneth removed to foster care and joins a gang. Kenneth’s sister is told by a state psychologist that she remembers being sexually abused herself when she was 6 years old and Dad goes to prison for 20 years. Kenneth’s mom has affair with the state psychologist.
Scenario #5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1956 – Mark shares aspirin with Principal and one of the janitors out on the smoking dock.
2006 – Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario #6: Mary turns up pregnant.
1956 – 5 High School boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 – Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent’s consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and
told to be more careful next time and to “practice ‘SAFE SEX’ “.
Scenario #7: Pedro fails high school English.
1956: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college, gets his degree and becomes a well respected member of his community.
2006: Pedro’s cause is taken up by state Democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can’t speak English.
Scenario #8: Chuck takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1956 – Ants die.
2006 – BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Chuck charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Chuck’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario #9: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.
1956 – In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2006 – Police arrest Mary for sexual molestation of a minor. Sentenced to 3 years in prison and spends the rest of her life on the Sex Offenders list of the local police department. Johnny undergoes 5 years of psychological therapy.
November 22nd, 2006 at 9:27 am
Hell, you don’t even have to go as far back as 1956. I know for fact that most of those scenarios were good up to at least 1976, and a good half or more of them up to 1986 and some were good to 1996.
Except #6. In 1976 and 1986, no one would have left town, Mary would probably have had the baby, and no one in her school would have really cared much. There would be some teasing of the possible dads, and Mary would try to sign her own report cards instead of having her parents do it. If she was in a Catholic school, there’d be a fair chance of a second pregnancy by graduation.
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:37 am
Ah, having graduated from a Catholic school in the late 80s, I can say the end of the statement is very true. I also agree that Mary would have had the baby, but as for not caring, I have to disagree. It was a huge deal for my friends (not me so much), because they now knew (if they didn’t already know) who to hit on at the next party.